Have you ever wondered what things guests secretly hate about weddings? By secretly I mean, won’t-tell-you-to-your-face-but-will-tell-Facebook. Well, we have them rounded up! But to start, do guests enjoy weddings? Sure, but most of all, they enjoy YOU! You know what’s better than a wedding? An elopement.

What guests secretly hate about weddings – the reception

1. When the music is too loud.

I mean, amen. You won’t catch me in a bar where I can’t hear the person I am talking to and the same goes for weddings. Congratulations, you booked a DJ. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to HEAR. It’s a wedding, not an EDM festival folks.

2. Garter Toss

Abso-fucking-lutely. TBH I don’t think this one is a secret. Maybe it’s just the feminist in me. But no one needs to be all up and under the wedding dress with their teeth. GRANDMA IS WATCHING! In recent years, I have seen most brides dropping this tradition but every now and then it bears its cringe-worthy head.

3.  Bouquet Toss

While this remains more popular than the garter toss, we heard that this tradition is secretly hated for the gathering of all the single ladies. Rounding the unwed up and making them jump to see who gets married next…. Yeah we get it. Also you lose bonus points for playing Beyonce’s All The Single Ladies. Let’s turn this on it’s head, and play Miley’s I can Buy Myself Flowers and no one fights for a ring from their partner. Mmmk.

A Hot Take on Kids

4. KIDS RUNNING AROUND

Yes, the all caps is not an accident here. Some guests REALLY secretly hate at weddings having kids there – even those who have kids themselves! One of my favorite things about elopements is that the kids that come are PART of the wedding in a real and intentional way, not running around like ferals. Shout out the cutest kids and best adventurers!!

Like with Kirsten and Mike. It all starts the day before their wedding for their welcome party at the Lodge at Whitefish Lake! This group is ready to partaaaay and it kicks off with a sunset party on the lake! I get to play around with Kirsten, Mike, and their adorable son Hunter. Meeting them for the first time, it feels like we’ve known each other for years. I mean, after all we plan her wedding together (hellooooo Wild Montana Wedding)! We’re besties, it’s fiiiiine! And let’s be honest, this is just the start of their all-Inclusive Glacier National Park Wedding – 2 epic days in Montana!

Things guests secretly hate about the photos

5. Waiting around for the wedding party to take photos

This is why it’s great to make a photo list with the photographer in advance. Once the photographer knows how many combinations of guests there are and can round them up, everything goes a lot faster!

6. People taking pictures with cell phones

Oooo yes, this is a good one. I may be biased as a photographer, but let the professionals do their job. Plus then you get photos like these!

7. I don’t like to see guests posting about the wedding / reception before the Bride and Groom do. It’s their day, not your party, nor place to do so.

ONE HUNDRED MILLION PERCENT YES!! This does drive me crazy. You wouldn’t post someone’s BABY without them posting first would you?? If the answer is yes here, please reevaluate. I know how exciting it is to be at someone’s wedding, but please, let them do the honors of first post.

Things guests secretly hate about weddings – the food 

8. Cash Bar

Let’s just skip the cash bar and hit up Costco for provisions. And I am not just talking for alcohol. Have you tried the pizza?!

9. Buffets and running out of food

See my pizza suggestion above. I think it’s impossible to run out of Costco pizza. Another fun idea is what our couple, Hannah and Casey, had for their Arches National Park Elopement – food trucks. Don’t ask me why food trucks are superior, they just are.

10. Smashing the cake in each other’s face.

I am convinced the guest that complained about this was just mad they didn’t get any cake. 

11. Cupcakes 🧁 I want a whole piece of cake.

I get the sentiment, sometimes weddings get a little too on trend. Donut walls had their days, we loved them, we are done with them. BRING. BACK. THE. CAKE! 

Things guests secretly hate about weddings – the dances

12. The dollar dance!!

Ahhh yes, after you have already given a gift to then feel like you have to give money on top of it, can be…. Tacky. Also, when you are slipping money into the couples clothes, it gives the garter ick. Keep creepy uncles away.

13. The YMCA. Why is this song still in circulation??

I feel like you are either team group dances or you ain’t. The elder generation seems to really like the YMCA. But in the TikTok day and age, certainly there are more song / dance options out there!

What guests secretly hate about weddings – ceremonies and speeches

14. When the maid of honor and best man want their 5 minutes of fame. They make their speeches so long and try to be funny. They tell jokes that only a handful of people might understand. Everyone is bored out of their minds and I usually finish the champagne before we actually toast.

So, this paints quite a picture but this person isn’t wrong!! Which is why we LOVE a good micro wedding. A handful of people, IN on the joke, sharing memories and having a great time.

15. Really long vows! 

All the more reason to ditch the guests. Your vows should be as long or as short as you want. This is your moment, with your person. Aren’t the vows the whole point of the wedding?

16. When people have the ceremony and reception in two separate places and at different parts of the day.

If you want to travel for two parts of the day, skip the wedding. HAVE AN ELOPEMENT!! We looooove adventuring between different places and capturing your beauty everywhere. 

17. Complicated ceremonies. I don’t mind long ceremonies, I just want to know what’s happening! I like it when either the officiant explains before something happens, or there’s some kind of bulletin to follow.

I am not sure elopements are better or worse than this, but it was a funny response.

18. Clinking a glass so the couple kisses.

This can get excessive but that’s usually due to one bad guest, it’s not the couple’s fault! Share all those smooches.

What guests secretly hate about weddings – their seating

19. Seating Charts

Yes, being told to sit somewhere you don’t want to, with people you don’t want to can be rough. Or the awkwardness when you’re Table 362.

20. Unassigned Seating

Also rough! The chaos and people moving chairs around to make their own groups. It can be awkward.

So basically, you’re at a lose-lose. Might as well elope.

Contact Me To Start Planning Your Guest Free, Guilt Free Elopement

The random complaints that guests came up with

21. Outdoor weddings in the summer

I hear yeah, but what about an outdoor wedding in LAKE TAHOE with a nice cool breeze and a boat ride? Don’t hate on an outdoor summer ceremony. Hate on the wedding where 150 are expected to stand around in direct sunlight for an hour. 

22. Not at weddings, but not a huge fan of bachelorette parties. Either a bridal shower or bachelorette party, but not both. Too much.

See, if you have an elopement and skip the wedding, then you can invite everyone to a bridal shower or a bachelorette, and it won’t be overkill! Keep the fun events with games, ditch the wedding.

23. Signs on every single thing.

Ahhh yes, the overly trendy signs. While we have seen a lot of cute ones, we have also seen a lot that are just unnecessary. A sign on a table for desserts. A sign for where to put presents. THEN a sign for guests to sign. It can be a lot.

24. Not having at least a day of experienced coordinator. There is too many things that people don’t think of that goes into a wedding.

Ahhh yes, I am sorry but your sister should not be the day of coordinator. As great as she may be, there WILL be things that pop up that a seasoned coordinator will know how to deal with without letting the couple know all about it. 

Our Take on Favors

25. Favors that you can’t eat. I have no need for a candle or small items engraved with your wedding date.

What I love about this complaint is that it isn’t anti-favor, it’s anti not being able to eat your favor. Now is the time to get those cookies personalized with your dog in a tux on them! I also am going to assume this person doesn’t like the China mass produced favors for everyone. By having a micro wedding, like our Rainbow Rancho winter wedding, you have more flexibility in how you allocate the budget. When it came to favors, Katie and Trevor wanted to do something unique and memorable. Out with the beer koozies (we will miss you) in with CUSTOM Montana mugs! Not only are these extra special, but we loved working with Lulu Pottery!

What do you think? Anything you secretly hate about weddings? Ready to do your wedding, your way? Contact me! Can’t wait to start planning and photographing your best day ever!